One of my favorite shows on Saturday NPR is Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!, the weekly humorous NPR news quiz. In a portion of the show called “Not My Job,” host Peter Sagal invites prominent guests on to answer questions about esoteric topics they mostly likely have no knowledge of whatsoever. Back in December, Peter’s guest was none other than jazz saxophonist and perennial whipping boy for sullen classical saxophonists, Branford Marsalis. Bantering about before the quiz portion of Branford’s interview, Peter tried to get to the heart of an important issue, which is fitting for a Valentine’s Day post:
 

Peter Sagal: We heard a rumor, and I want to see if you can confirm it, that the ladies like the saxophone for some reason.

Branford Marsalis: Oh, man, that’s not a rumor. What makes you think that’s a rumor? I mean look at all the movies. As soon as the guy gets near the girl, what do you hear? Saxophone. There’s a reson for that. But at the age of 14 or 15 when I really wasn’t getting any girls and wasn’t hip to that, I’ve often said, in jest, you know I had to switch to the saxophone, because you can get women with the saxophone. And I will concede that you stand a much better chance playing the saxophone than you do playing an electric piano.

Charlie Pierce: Just the lack of hernias alone would be . . .

BM: There you go.

Roxanne Roberts: Well, wait, wait. Let me ask then: what makes the saxophone so sexy?

BM: I have no idea. It’s not that I made the decision. It’s just that you play it and women go, “Ooh, I like the saxophone.” I don’t know why. I’ve just never heard a movie, or a show, or in real life a person come and say, “You know what really turns me on? Fender Rhodes. I just love this guy. Electric keyboards? Oh, the DX-7 is just so sexy.” It doesn’t happen. I cannot tell you why, but I’m glad it’s the way it is.

CP: Apropros of nothing, is it true that all oboe players are virgins?

BM: You know that might be true. I don’t know if it’s true but I would understand why if it were.

CP: It is as someone once said: an ill wind that nobody blows good.

BM: There you go.

PS: I was just thinking about the accordian player watching you with a woman swooning around. The accordian player’s thinking, “I’ve wasted my life.”

(N.B. Download the complete audio here.)